theludicrousrival:

charles27e:

This isn’t enough juniors and probationary firefights on a fire scene to repack this shit.

yeeeeezus.



Anonymous said: I was having a nice conversation with a stranger. When he asked what I do for a living I told him I worked on an ambulance. He said "Oh, I bet that's stressful, that's like what I do working in a hotel" I really wanted to punch him in the face.

thejollyvollie:

I don’t think anyone would have blamed you If you did.



tastefullyoffensive:

[lisha721/sh*ttybitmap]





unlimitedgoats:

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.



fyspringfield:

This.



hippity-hoppity-brigade:

THE BEST WAY TO GO OUT: CONTINUING A RUNNING GAG.



pretentiouslimericks:

jackdonnellys:

can you imagine what would happen if arthur weasley discovered google 

The Harry Potter books are set in the early 90’s. I bet that he discovered the Internet around 2000, and was captivated. He probably spent years getting the Ministry to adopt wi-fi, and now he spends his lunch breaks perusing Wikipedia. At home he has a state-of-the-art computer rig with like four massive monitors and he marathons “How It’s Made” on Netflix.





How I will seduce my bestfriend

the-awesomepossum:

It’s quite simple actually. I’ll just give her a valentines day card and it’ll all fall into place

image

image

I mean … we’ll be naked.